A happy, doubtful New Year from Katle Kanye
Saith the Yiddish blogmaster [my translation; read the whole post!]:

I don't have any answers [to these doubts], and I won't find any answer during the many holidays whose threshhold we're on now. On the first day of Selichot I hopped up on the wagon, and I'm riding until the end of Simchat Torah. Not because I want something, and not because I'm afraid that if I don't I stand to lose something. I can't say that I'm a willing passenger, but my fate is to go along for the ride. I won't justify it to myself by saying that it's the right path, but I'm still not jumping off. This is my portion from all my labors -- to look on as my traveling companions drag big bags of the four species and whole sukkahs, seeing only what's going on in the wagon, and I'm traveling lightweight and keep wanting to look out the window. I want to see who's pulling the wagon and who's driving the horses, and they just want to open their baggage, because they're so sure that the wagon will keep on going whatever happens. Will I stay till the end of the trip? For now I'm just happy that I'm not being thrown off.